Why Parenting Isn’t Working Like You Hoped

If you’ve ever laid in bed asking, “Why does this still feel so hard?”, you’re not alone.
The world has plenty of parenting advice—but very little truth. Even less kingdom parenting.
And even in the Church, we often trade Kingdom principles for Christian performance.

But here’s the hard truth:
You can have obedient kids…
who don’t know your heart.
And if they don’t know your heart, they may never truly trust God’s either.

So how do we raise children to know the Father—not just behave for Him?

We return to the Kingdom.

Would you rather listen to this convo? Click here: https://youtu.be/CaMi8LbKxAo

1. Kingdom Parenting Keeps the End in Mind

Culture trains us to prioritize short-term wins: clean rooms, polite manners, perfect behavior in public.

But Kingdom parenting zooms out.

The goal isn’t control—it’s legacy.

Ask yourself:

  • Who are they becoming?
  • What kind of adult is this shaping?
  • Am I parenting for comfort… or for calling?

Legacy isn’t built in moments of convenience—it’s forged in faithfulness when no one’s clapping.


2. Prioritize Connection Over Compliance

Obedience without connection leads to rebellion or resentment.

Your child isn’t just looking for boundaries—they’re longing for belonging.

“Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” — Josh McDowell

Discipline matters. But connection is what makes correction stick.

Don’t just ask “Are they behaving?”
Ask, “Do they feel safe to be known?”


3. Kingdom Parenting is NOT Rooted in Fear

Fear-driven parenting sounds like:

  • “What if they walk away from God?”
  • “What if they end up like me?”
  • “What will people think?”

But fear is a terrible teacher—and a worse master.

Kingdom parenting is rooted in trust.

“We don’t raise children from fear of failure—we raise them from faith in God’s design.”


4. Let Your Strength Serve Their Weakness

This is the Gospel in action—inside your home.

When your child is overwhelmed, disobedient, anxious, or angry…
you can either react in power or respond in covenant love.

Covenant says:

“Your weakness doesn’t scare me. I’ll meet you there with strength.”

This doesn’t mean enabling behavior—it means imitating the Father.


5. Invite the Holy Spirit Into Your Kingdom Parenting

You’re not just parenting flesh and blood—you’re stewarding souls.

So ask Him:

  • “What’s really going on beneath the behavior?”
  • “What do they need that they don’t know how to ask for?”
  • “What do I need to repent of so they don’t inherit it?”

Kingdom parenting is never done alone.

When you co-parent with the Holy Spirit, you’ll get supernatural insight into your child’s heart.


Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Be Perfect

God didn’t call you to raise perfect kids.
He called you to raise loved ones—who know what grace looks like, because they saw it in your eyes.

So take a deep breath.
You’re not behind.
You’re being refined too.

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